Sunday, June 10, 2007

His crew? Ew!

You adore your guy, but not his pals? Here are a few ways to keep it together around his friends — even when you'd rather run the other way

You've snagged a major hottie. And he's sweet as strawberry lip gloss. He always sends a "good morning" text and would rather spend his free time chatting with you than playing his Wii. There's only one problem. You don't exactly dig his buds. Your BF may be all romance and coolness, but his friends are more caveboy. What can you do when you are totally crushin' on him but think his pals are the pits?


So his friend Nathan is slightly obsessed with NASCAR and his pal Jacob is only interested in gross bodily functions, but have you ever tried to really get to know them? Your BF picked them and he thinks they rock — and he's pretty cool, right? So, his boys probably have a few redeeming qualities. Give 'em a chance.

Spend some time with your guy's crew. Get some of your own buds together, and suggest a group date. Or go with your BF to see Nathan's basketball semi-final game (see, he's not all NASCAR). Your boyfriend will appreciate you for it and — who knows? — you might find out they're not so bad.


It's a fact of nature that boys aren't as in tune with the whole romance thing as girls are. Your guy is clearly into you, but his friends might still be stuck in the nogo zone when it comes to dating. Maybe they've never had girlfriends, so they just don't understand why their bud would rather go to the mall with you than shoot hoops with them. Take it in stride, keeping in mind that your BF's friends will catch up. Eventually.


Keep things in perspective. If your guy's pals are only a little annoying, blow it off. Nobody's perfect, and (yikes!) your guy might feel the same way about your friends. Dating is about compromise. Sometimes, you need to bend a little. Your relationship will be stronger for it. If what's really buggin' you is how your BF treats you around his friends, take a step back. Is he a little more aloof or less likely to engage in any PDA around the guys? Just keeping it cool around his dudes is normal. He doesn't want to spark any teasing. But if your BF is seriously rude or puts you down in front of his pals, that's no laughing matter. A BF should never embarrass you or be cruel. You deserve respect. If he's not givin' it to you, move on.


Your guy is completely into you? That's great, but don't think it gives you power to dole out ultimatums. If you force him to choose between spending time with you and hanging out with them, it'll probably take him about a nanosecond to make the decision. And, trust us, you aren't going to like the answer.

And even if he were to stick it out with you, he'd ultimately resent you for alienating him from his boys. Bottom line? It's never a good idea to throw your guy that kind of a challenge.


All in all, be accepting. If your guy's friends grate on you, take it in stride. As long as your BF treats you well, you've scored big. Accept him for who he is…and who his friends are. Hang with them in limited doses, and don't point out their flaws. Hello! You wouldn't let him rag on your friends, right?

By Renee Hagar


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